Hey, Michelle!

How was the race?

Need a race or motivation?

I am finding it difficult to find the motivation to continue running.  I have run a few times since the race but nothing regular and nothing difficult.  I am wondering if it is because I need to register for a new race?  Then I think of trying to work in running time and it makes me feel rather exhausted without ever having lifted a finger (or foot).
I keep thinking when I finish ILE I might be more inclined to work a workout into my scheduled babysitting times.  Of course, at that rate, I might also need to figure out a way to lose the 50lbs I will have gained from all the holidays, Starbucks and chocolate that won't be countered by running.
Maybe I'll just lace up the shoes now...

Results

Bib	Name	Sex/Age	City, State, Country
18049	REITEMEYER, MICHELLE	F39	RICHMOND HILL, GA
Gun / Net Overall Sex Div  6.5Mi Split   Net Time   Pace   2:02:46  /  1:44:42    14903 /21636   5393/9581   968/1677   1:08:14   1:44:42   10:28

Bib	Name	Sex/Age	City, State, Country
14864	MAY, RACHEL	F37	FORT LEAVENWORTH, KS
Gun / Net Overall Sex Div  6.5Mi Split   Net Time   Pace   1:58:00  /  1:39:56    12833 /21636   4294/9581   773/1677   1:06:33   1:39:56   9:59

Showing 1-1 of 1

Bib	Name	Sex/Age	City, State, Country
15090	PILLADO, CHRISTINE	F38	FORT BELVOIR, VA
Gun / Net Overall Sex Div  6.5Mi Split   Net Time   Pace   2:00:02  /  1:41:59    13742 /21636   4769/9581   852/1677   1:07:15   1:41:59   10:11

On being a basket case

Honestly, I do not think that emails from the race coordinators telling me about all the fun things to do on race day should provoke a fight or flight response.

Friday, rest day

Today is the day that I get to skip running and not feel guilty about it.  Of course I haven't run since Wednesday and then before that...Monday and before that...Thursday.  It's just that I DID feel guilty all those other non-Fridays.
Having a cold isn't helping the motivation to figure out when to run while husband is gone.  He returns tomorrow and I AM going to do my long run.  Since it's 10 miles.  Since it is ONE week until race day.  Since I haven't run 10 miles in the last two weeks combined.  AHHHHHH...
I figure that I will really just run to finish.  Me, my red hat, my TP in my sports bra, my good old shoes and my friends.  I have decided that my Type-A self that wants to analyze every step of the course and drink stations and mile markers etc. is just going to have to sit down and shut up for this one.
I bought a swim cap this week.  You know.  For the triathlon that I am looking to do in the spring...

Feeling nervous

Michelle sent me a great email with her packing list and tips, and Christie and I talked over our packing lists and thoughts which was really, really helpful to me.  I've only run 2 races before, both 5Ks, and one thing I know about myself is that preparation and visualization is absolutely necessary.  The unexpected/unknown event--thoughts like where will the port-a-johns be???--will knock me to the floor, put a boot on my throat and growl in my face.

Something Michelle mentioned reminded me that there is actually a website for this race which probably has helpful information, so I hit it today.  I was very happy to see the exact location of the port-a-johns which I will now go and compare to a race map so I can visualize myself happily approaching them with my wad of damp-from-being-carried-in-my-bra Kleenex.

But I admit, the countdown clock at 11 days 11 hours 2 minutes started my pre-race jitters.  Gah!  Why didn't I run today??!!  I only have 11 days left to get ready.  Will I be ready?  How can I get my runs in this week with school and my trip to Alabama approaching?   Why don't I have any clean socks?

The secret to a good run

• Beautiful weather
• Half hour of stretching
• Safe environment
• Adequate hydration
• 800mg Motrin

sabatoge

I did this in most classes I took where I was doing well at the end of the semester.  I quit studying.  Didn't turn in anymore assignments.
I am still running.  Not too hard.  Not really far enough.  Someone psycho analyze this for me and give me a hint.  Didn't get to this with the therapist yet.  We got stuck on my scoring double the thresh hold on the screening for post partum depression.  I thought I was getting better.
Andy won't be home for the ATM.  Of course.  He won't be home for the spaghetti dinner.  Of course.  He pretty much is making cameo appearances this month.
Has anyone figured out what time we will need to leave to get to where ever it is we have to be for the beginning of the race?  Need to hire a sitter and they sometimes like a time to arrive. :)
Maybe it's the GREY sky for the past four days?  I need a tanning booth.

Daily Dose of Motivation

5 Cheerful Thoughts for the 5 Miles I Ran Yesterday

1. I can run!
2. I can also take water breaks and walk a little.  There's no rule that I can't.
3. I own my hill.  I sprint up it now.  This has very little to do with the dog chasing me.
4. There will be no dogs at the race.
5. You choose  :)  

What are your goals?

Today was 3 miles.  I ran and walked (about 1/2 mi).  Scaled my goals back to my first goal--to be allowed to finish this race.  Remembered that a few months ago I was planning to waddle to the finish.  When that dream died, dreamed that I could do 10 min miles.  Definitely a dream.  My first goal was the most sensible and remains so at this point.  Was wondering how your goals have been changed by real life, and whether AT, a broken toe, and a miscarriage have actually made it so we will finish at about the same time?

On the road again...

Ran 8 miles the Saturday we drove to Huntsville.  Felt great.  Felt like two more would have been just fine.  Then spent two weeks living in a hotel room with my husband and five kids trying to figure out how to a) get enough sleep...still b) what time was the right time to get up and go to the gymette in the hotel and still get a shower, breakfast, kids dressed and downstairs for breakfast AND get to work on time c) when my husband was going to get to the gym so he didn't lose his mind watching the kids all day.  I think I figured it out the second week we were there.  Unfortunately it was Thursday.  End result?  Ran about 7 miles total the entire two weeks.
Drove straight through Saturday and arrived home 11pm.  Sunday morning got up, got dressed for Mass, took three little boys to Commissary while Andy was a the gym.  Went to Mass at 1115 in the CLASSROOM on post...never going there again.  Took a TWO HOUR nap.  Heaven.  Went running.  Ran 3 miles at a fairly good clip until the last .5 and then felt like I might make it home...sometime.  Knees were aching.
Monday morning knees were REALLY aching.  Rode my bike instead.  Felt good.  Realized I had on my ultra cool red running hat.  No helmet.  Oops.  Detoured to take back roads and thus shortened my ride considerably.  Good for not seeing an MP, bad for training.
Tuesday morning Andy late getting back from gym.  Supposed to run four miles.  Due to time limits ran three and felt like it was a good thing because four seemed WAAAAY too long.
At this rate I might make it to mile five at the 75 min mark.  Might.  I keep reminding myself that it will only take me two weeks to get back to where I was before and eight miles will feel good instead of insurmountable.  I keep reminding myself that there are other people who need me to offer up this un-fun running; Melinda in Alaska with arsenic water and winter fast approaching, Andrea with Randy in Boston for another surgery, my husband's NCO whose father was just diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer that has spread to his brain, my former neighbor whose cancer comes and goes and whose husband of 62 years is not in good health.
Some how my 7x800 tomorrow sounds pretty darn good.

not quite 3 miles

Felt great.

Feeling old

'Cause, you know, when I was younger and I went to the doctor, my issues couldn't be taken care of in the aisles near the Walgreen's pharmacy; I had to actually go to the pharmacy.

X-ray says no stress fracture.  Feeling around and moving my ankle says whatever it is, probably shin splints, are getting better.   But I'm supposed to take it easy.  Don't get all crazy.  Take a lot of motrin and wear Ace bandages.  Pretend I'm starting training and see where it takes me.

OK, well, it's taking me to VA in about 3 weeks come hell or high water...but I promise I will move wisely and slow.  Like a 100 year old tortoise.  Because I'm soooo old.  Waaaaaah!

6 miles--The good, bad, and ugly

I ran it alone on a sandy trail that winds around a tree-lined lake near our house. It's a well shaded 2 mile loop, so the setting sun was mostly off of me, making for a comfortable run.

Unfortunately, if the sun shone straight in my face or straight on my back, my energy plummeted to zero, and I felt like walking was too hot and too fast. I only fought the sun in a few places, but it was hard to regain momentum after the forced walks.

At the end of my run I felt content and relieved. 6 miles, a first in 9 years! There were moments I might have enjoyed more, but I finished it in a respectable time. Post-run stretching to the soft splash of water going down the spillway and sunlight playing across the pebbles relaxed me before I drove home.

Stiffness, dehydration, chills, exhaustion, ice, motrin, PAIN, and chigger bites are the legacy of that run. This morning's 3 miles were done with gritted teeth and promises to myself that I will stretch every day and ice 3x a day while I'm training. I'm pounding water like it's out of fashion, and I taught from the couch with my right leg up on a chair. Is this why the current chapter of the Non-Runner's Marathon Trainer is about dealing with injuries?

However, I remain upbeat and even feel excited to check out the extended chigger filled trail for next Sat's 7 miler. :)

A new invention!

On my .8 treadmill, I have to run almost 8 laps to get my six miles in this week. Even when I only go 3, I have a tendency to lose count. But then I came up with a brilliant plan.

All I needed to do was to put rubberbands on one arm, and as I finished a lap, I could move it to the other arm. But it gets better because then I thought, what if the rubberbands were shaped on the theme of inspirational running shapes? And colored! A blue running shoe. The Nike swoosh in red. A hat with a zipper, a water bottle, and this...

Guess what I'm going to call them? LAP BANDS! Don't you wish you had thought of them?

Relaxing vacation

I was on vacation, and I really didn't want to run. I forced myself out of bed, got dressed and went out into the pitch black morning. Sunrise was an hour away, and it was too dark yet to run on the beach.

64 steps down to the road from our 3rd floor room. Run on the sparsely lit roadway for 20 minutes up and 20 minutes back. Almost went off the road twice. Saw a cat, assumed it was a bobcat and that helped propel my heartbeat to the top end of the target zone.

Stopped, blessed relief. Walked to the back of the building, climbed the stepped path past the pool and then down the hill. Crossed the fairway of some hole on one of the golf courses. Up the stairs, over the dunes to the soft sand and then the water's edge. Stopped, turned, then slowly started out again with the pinkening sky to my right. My muscles protested, already beginning to relax from the first part of the run.

19 minutes up, 19 minutes back. Then walking across the soft sand, over the dunes, down the steps, across the fairway, up the path, down the path, 64 steps up. Chug 3 ice cold glasses of water. Sit. Drink coffee. The need to sit temporarily overriding the need to take a shower.

BTW, I never knew what it was to sweat until I ran in the Deep South. Dripping. Disgusting.

Shower, get dressed, pack up the kids, down 64 steps and head to THE ZOO. Walk around for three hours. Not much sitting, not much standing.

Back at the hotel, 64 steps up and take another shower. Babysitter comes. 64 steps down. Walk to dinner. Right. Halfway there, realize that the shower was pointless. Eat. Drink 2 frou-frou martinis. More walking on the beach.

Slow walking. Then 64 steps up.

Is there any wonder that it takes me mere seconds to fall asleep at night?

My feet ache, constantly. I have had a tight muscle in my neck from the base of my head down my right shoulder for weeks. My hips ache, my shins ache, my thighs ache. When I was sick in July and didn't run much for 2 weeks, I stopped feeling sore. It was nice.

As I ponder where to go from here, I have ceased thinking that I'll train for the 15k Double Pump which would take me over the Savannah Bridge three times (6% grade). Oh, no. Running 5k races seems very very appealing.

But at the same time, I look at the training schedule and see 4 or 5 or 6 miles and I think: no big deal. So I know I've come a long way since that day 6 months ago when Christie convinced me that this was a good idea. Back then, 1 mile was a challenge. Bit by bit, this running thing gets easier.

But Friday rest days remain my favorite day of the week.

Keep on the sunny side

1:41 pm--begin 3 mile training run

2:17 pm--finish scorching 3 mile run/walk with multiple water breaks

But you should see my awesome tan!

5 x 800; average time or drop time?

I ran my 5 x 800s this AM.  I went to the track because I am tired of guessing if I am really running 800 or not.  My goal was to keep my two laps at about the same time all five sets.  Didn't work.  I think a one minute variation for a .5 mile run is a little erratic.  At some point I thought I should concentrate on dropping time each set.  That didn't work either.  So I wound up just saying the hell with it, I am just glad I am out here running and 2.5 miles doesn't seem so far to my body or mind at this point!

4 miles later

I checked out the race route today. I've run from Arlington across the Potomac, down Little River Turnpike (I think) past the Kennedy Center and ending up behind Lincoln where I got lost the first time I drove to the zoo. Cool. But somehow that seems a lot farther than the 5 laps around my block this morning. Christie is waving at the Hirshhorn, and Michelle is viewing the homestretch going downhill and almost on her way back across the Potomac. Very cool.

Intriguing race map. Mile markers. Start. Finish. (at the Pentagon...really? Why didn't you warn me we are running on the Road to Hell? It sure has been paved with good intentions, by the way.) Ummmm, shopping marker. Ok. Shopping is good. Did I happen to miss the potty markers? I mean, I am the mother of 7 kids. No one is expecting me to run 10 miles without a pitstop right?

7 MILES!!

Ran 7 miles!  The whole thing!  Amazing what a 20 degree drop in temps can do for the body and soul.

Coffee is ready and we are not.  Going to get the family ready for a day at the battlefield.

Happy Labor Day!!

7 miles and Gettysburg

I am planning to run 7 miles in the morning.  There is only one big hill to go UP and it's at the end of the run (maybe a walk at that point).
Then we are going to jump in the car and go to Gettysburg.  Spend the night in York and then head to Lancaster and come home.
Then a one hour bike ride.
Sometimes I wonder why I decided that this was a good idea.  Then I think, "The heck with that, why do I keep doing it?"
Because if I have to sit in a car for hours and hours with small children I need all the feel good hormones and stress relief I can.  And I am fresh out of street drugs.

CHARM

Joseph is standing behind me reading the heading. "CHARM school??"
Catholic
Homeschool
Army
Running
Moms
His mother explains the acronym.
"My gosh!  What is the world coming to?", he replies.
Exactly.

Not quite on schedule

Having a rough week keeping to what Hal thinks I should be doing. It is unfortunate that school interferes with my real life!

No matter how badly I want to run, it is school time and that is where my priorities must lay. If I can't be done with my run by 7 am, then it has to wait.

Monday was 3 miles. I usually do these on the treadmill with a 6% slope. I'm very slow, walking much of the way. There is a run in Savannah in early December over the bridge to SC. You can do either the 5k (once over the bridge), the 10k (twice over the bridge) or the double pump (both races). The bridge has a 5 - 6% slope. I believe the uphill is a full mile (including the road leading to the bridge). Since this bridge is the only "hill" in Savannah, I use the treadmill to help me train.

It just didn't happen yesterday morning.

But I lucked out and was able to take Billy to soccer practice all by myself. The road around this park is over a mile long, plus there is a lake with a loop that seems to be just over a half mile. I think my overall distance was just shy of 3 miles. No hills to speak of, but at least I got it done.

I also did pushups and situps on the edge of the soccer field. It amuses me to imagine what the other soccer moms must think of me. One kid, all she does is work out, must be one of the beautiful people. Yeah...

Today was 4 miles. I didn't want to go this morning, since I only just ran the night before. It wasn't until I dropped 4 kids off at piano, put the sleeping tot on the couch and set Petey up on Nick Jr dot com that I could go on. I thought I'd have just enough time to do the distance before my friend Laurie would stop by with my kids and some of hers, and stay with them while I ran to the store and then picked her kids up from piano.

I made it to 2.68 before she called and said her kids would only do a half hour, not an hour, since one was sick. Run...or grocery store with no kids...?

I got off, promising myself I would finish that last 1.32 miles later. It's 10 pm. Not going to happen. Laurie called at 730 pm and the sick kid needed urgent care. I'm typing this out on her computer while her kids sleep and she's checking her watch for the gazillionth time in the ER.

Oh, well, what can you do?

I think it's a 35 minute tempo run tomorrow. A slow buildup to race speed. It's also a school day. We're actually mostly on schedule for that. But it's only week 3. Hopefully we'll manage to stay somewhat on track for that...and hopefully, I will manage to get back on track with my running.

Almost beat a real runner!!

This AM went for a run. Old Hal says I should have done five miles.  About .5 miles into the run I notice a woman who is an Active Duty COL.  She lives down the street and is super fit.  She was kicking my ass.  I reasoned with myself that she has been running longer, blah, blah, blah...

She turned right, I turned left.  A couple of miles later I fell in behind her at the bottom of the long hill home.  I was supposed to run a long loop through a housing area at the top of the hill prior to going home.  I decided to pour it on going up the hill and see if I couldn't at least close the gap between us.

I did! I did!  I came fairly close to getting even with her and was willing to keep chasing this poor woman who was just trying to get home but I would have had to sacrifice yet another loop and thus shorten my run even more.

So I decided that competition can only do so much for motivation before it serves to undermine my entire training program! :)  I probably ran a little over four but definitely tried harder than I would have otherwise.  Wonder when she runs again?

more running, more blogging

Have you noticed that the closer we get to race day the more we blog about the running we are doing?
I am going to think about that while I lay in a nice, comfy, warm bed for a short, brief, lulling interlude.

Early mornings?

Note to self: getting up to run prior to husband's departure at 5:30 am is NOT worth the pain of the rest of the day that then follows on too little sleep.
Note to self: taking nap on antique couch which sits atop needlepoint rug results in two year old announcing, frantically,"PEE!!!" while standing in front of napper.
Note to self: figure out how to clean needlepoint rug.

Goal Work

In the Screwtape Letters, Uncle Screwtape wisely advises his nephew Wormwood that an easy way to distract humans from a goal is either to encourage them to live in the past or focus solely on the future. A backward looking person forgets to assess where he is today to see what more needs to be accomplished. And a forward looking person is discouraged by feeling like he must accomplish all future events right now.

This morning Cecilia ran my 1st loop with me, and I smiled to realize that the vivid days on which I desperately begged God to help me get up that hill are behind me. But already in my head I was dreading the 2nd and 3rd times up the hill today. The sun was higher and I was going to be more tired and what about tomorrow when I add 5 minutes to my run and thus a dreaded 4th loop?? I nearly let myself walk just picturing it.

Then Uncle Screwtape popped into my head, and I knew it was a trick. My moment of discouragement was happening while I ran downhill, not up. I decided instead to think about my goals for the race. I looked back and saw that I can run up a hill, but I won't stop to rest on my laurels. Today I need improvement. I headed out 2 hours later than I wanted...but I went. And real world conditions will work in my favor on race day. My goals for October...?

10 miles scares me. It scares me because I know that if I had to run it today, I couldn't. And every training run between now and race day means more work. I see them all layered on top of each other, an enormous mountain for me to run.

Deep breath. A short term goal would be more helpful than a race day strategy. How about I look forward to being able to run a full 30min--about 3 miles--four times this week? How about I happily notice that this is the last week of my pre-running training plan? How about I decide that today's worries are enough for today?

Follow directions!

I keep thinking that part of the benefit of training for the ATM is that it shows my kids how to reach a goal.  That incremental progress is good and that self discipline will ensure that progress continues.  I haven't really thought of it in terms of other life skills.
We talk about following directions nearly every day.  Sometimes yelling more than talking actually.
I ran six miles.  Well, most of six miles.  Walked some but NOT MUCH!
Kids were with me on bikes.  I don't think they realized that six miles isn't just around the block.  We mapped out the course last night on www.walkjogrun.net.  I reviewed the streets with them before we logged off.  Went over it again this morning before we left the driveway the first time.  The second time was when we came back to trade bikes because Eva's bike has no brakes. Maybe I should spend more time with them while they ride to evaluate their bicycles' performance??
We got through the first part of the course, the complicated part in my mind, and when I asked, "What is the next street?" neither one could tell me.  Voice in my head that tells me my kids would be okay if they were left / abandoned / lost / kidnapped and had to find their way home alone...that voice lies.
This went on for a couple of turns.  At the half way point they turned onto 3rd Street and waited for their old, slow Mother to arrive. Mother arrived and continued right past them to 1st Street.  They protested all the way from 3rd to 1st that they, "Didn't know! I thought it was the last turn!"
We arrived home...okay, Joseph arrived home and waited for Eva who was flagging at the end.  They waited for me on the front porch yelling down the street for me to hurry up.  I was walking.  Joseph informed me that it had been one hour and thirteen minutes and he wasn't going to stop the timer on his watch until I got to the driveway. "Okay", I said,"but the finish was back at the mailboxes [about 400 yds back]. Remember? On the map last night?"
"Oh." Joseph's shoulders fell and he looked despondent.  He was so sure he was timing me accurately.
I may make them go with me every Saturday just so we can practice following directions.

Hard core runner or nice mom?

I feel like I am constantly having a running identity crisis. The other day I convinced myself that I was a hard core runner because I was choosing to run outside at 2:30 in the afternoon (as opposed to getting up early). Several mental pep talks later, all on the subject of how hard core I am, how I eat nails for breakfast, how real runners fear not time of day...blah blah....., I laced up my NEW running shoes and looked up to find that Thomas was preparing to tag along.

Moral dilemma: Should I be a hard core runner and suffer alone in the high humidity and heat or should I be a nice mom and let him suffer with me?

I chose nice mom. And I chose it again when he bagged the 3rd lap and Cecilia asked to run it (can you read my eyes rolling?) with me.

The payoff for that painful run came this morning when I ran 25 min straight for the first time and didn't even notice that I ran up the hill that was killing me last week!

Go me!

Today I ran for 15 min and walked 5 x2. And I got up at 5:45!

Bad running day, may as well blog

Things have been going great guns with running.  I had my bike tuned up and new tires put on and have been riding.  What joy!!  Next on the list is swimming laps.  Haven't gotten there yet.  Sunday I ran for 1 hour continuously.  A red letter day!  Not sure how far that run was, honestly, but I am fairly certain it was over 5 miles.

I have also been doing the FLY Lady program in our house (more or less) with some noticeable improvements.  All in all, things are going well.

Then, WHAM!  This AM I had a headache while running.  Made it all of .5 miles and decided I needed to walk home.  Not exactly the runners' high I was hoping for to start off the day.

On the brighter side I get my hair cut today and have two days left before I can start seeing all the people who will be dragging me through the streets of DC in October.

Hal Hidgon with kids is the new, unimproved training plan.  Tylenol for headaches is the new drug of choice.

My training plan

No Hal Higdon or Runner's World's "New New Best 10 Miler Ever!" training plans for me. I'm using the Non Runners' Marathon Trainer. Unfortunately, because of the miscarriage I'm having to start late. But I will be prepared...1 week after the race.

3 day streak

Yes, ladies, that's right, I have had 3 days of near running on my new treadmill (the road in front of my house). Only 13 weeks to the Army 10 Miler, so you should be scared of me.

I admit, I spend an inordinate amount of time planning what to wear on race day. Since we are Catholic Homeschooling Armywife Running Moms, does this mean I should plan to wear my running skirt and a hat? Or is it ok to wear my too tight Mater Dei High School t-shirt and my daisy duke running shorts with the zippy racing stripes? OR....should I go shopping?!

Stop blogging, start running

23 weeks and a day to race day. My Hal Higdon training schedule (1st week, 10K Novice) tells me to run 3 miles today. Can do. Not very quickly, but can do.

Unfortunately, the current bug situation (big, persistent, biting, black flies) prevents outdoor running. I have tried. You have to live it to understand it. Bug spray matters not. The locals say they're only around for a month. I've got a few weeks to go.

I'm relegated to the treadmill, which I didn't realize exactly how much I despised until I compared my motivation to run today (pretty low) to where it was 2 weeks ago (pretty high). Oh, well. At least I don't spend the entire run waving my arms around my body fending off insects.

My chest hurts from the other day's "strength" training: pushups, situps and squats. My hopes are high that Bill will put the weight bench together soon. Then I can have other sore muscles! Spread the wealth.

I am still 7 pounds heavier than I was when Bill came home. Drat that I equate "celebrate" with "eat". I like to celebrate. I like to eat. To punish myself, I've been drinking my coffee black, except on Sundays. I can't wait for tomorrow; I don't enjoy black coffee. But I really don't enjoy being 15 pounds heavier than I was when I got married. My mom is visiting, and I think she has resigned herself to carrying about 40 extra pounds. I refuse.

So now that my shot of coffee is done, I shall get dressed and run. On the boring treadmill.

Getting there

I've read several articles in Runner's World about how one should not multi-task a run. A run is best when it is pure. When it is only a vehicle to physical and mental wellness. When it is not cluttered by the day's work, but instead a way to deal with that clutter.

With all due respect to the editors and writers over there, when you have 7 kids, you can tell me how to accomplish that.

Today, I not only needed to get a run in for my training, I also wanted to go running. And I had an errand to run.

I headed out the door and ran the mile or so to the hospital, where I panted at the info desk worker for directions. When I reached the 2nd floor clinic, I was still panting as I told the desk clerk I wanted to do a walk-in pregnancy test. He gaped. "Did you run here?" "Yep!" I grinned, both at the prospect of me running to a pregnancy test and at the thought of a new baby.

Ten minutes later with a bandage on my arm from the blood test, I finished my run. I'm not sure I actually ran home. I may have floated. I know there was an enormous grin across my face, while I contemplated waddling the Army 10-miler at 7 months pregnant.

April Fool's Day

I've just spent $89 on a sturdy wax-paperish race bib and a spaghetti dinner and a t-shirt. Why does this feel both like an April Fool's Day joke and a momentous occasion? I haven't actually done anything yet....

Who am I?

I'm still building my running base, so my runs are 7 min on, 7 min walk, 3 x each, 3 days a week.

Today I was grabbing a pre-run snack at the counter, when Bill walked in and said, "Wow, you look like a runner!" Doesn't that sound nice?

But what I heard was, "You look like a runner." Meaning I am a normal person in a runner's costume--pink cap, long sleeve race t, sneakers, ipod.

I don't really object to that description because I don't feel like a runner. During my run, I meditated on what is it that tips one from feeling like something to claiming it as their identity.

My age is 21. vs I am an adult.

I am not a little girl anymore. vs I am a woman.

I've made a quilt. vs I'm a quilter.

I run. vs I am a runner.

I couldn't really decide what finally pushes one into assimilating an external reality into an internal one. I wonder if, like a mile marker in a race, we recognize it better when we've passed it?